Ever wondered what your love language is? Are you more emotional, practical, activity-based, or financially-oriented in how you give and receive love? What are the 7 types of love languages that people use to express and experience affection? After reading this article, you’ll have all the answers you need!
Love is a universal language, yet we all express it differently. Have you ever felt that you and your partner speaks entirely different dialects when it comes to showing Love? Well, you are not alone. According to Dr. Gary Chapman’s (Marriage counselor) groundbreaking book, “The Five Love Languages,” there are 7 distinct ways that people give and receive love.
The concept of love language created by Dr Gary Chapman in 1980s, was to explain how people have different ways of showing love and why couples may sometimes fail to connect with their partner even when they are making an efforts to be loving towards ome another.
Podcast: “Exploring 7 New Love Languages and 4 Steps to Strengthen Your Relationship”
Before You Begin
- The 7 updated love languages are activity, appreciation, emotional, financial, intellectual, physical, and practical.
- These different love languages represent the various ways of giving and receiving love in a relationship.
- for example, if you feel loved when you you and your partner are emotionally intimate with each other and have deep conversations, that means your love language might be emotional.
The Seven Types of Love Languages: A Detailed Overview
The 7 love styles test measures your type and preferences in regards to the 7 love styles according to Truity’s research. Here is the breakdown of each:
Embracing Shared Interests: The Key to Activity Love Style
People who prefer the activity love style feel really good when their partner shows interest in what they enjoy doing, like hobbies or activities, and makes an effort to do those things together.
For those whose love language is “Activity“, having a partner who actively engages in their hobbies and interests is extremely meaningful. They feel loved and valued when their partner shows a genuine interest in the activities they love and makes an efforts to participate in them together.
People who prefer this love style often find joy and fulfilment in introducing their favourite past times. You can make your partner more happy and loved by share a part in their interests and activities. It’s important to remember that love isn’t jys about intimacy and grand gestures but also about the small, intentional movements of quality time that strengthen the bond between couple.
- If your love language is Activity style, you feel special and loved when you spend time with your partner doing activities.
- ypu may also feel most loved and valued when your partner apts attention to and takes an interest in your interest and hobbies.
Words of Affirmation: The Appreciation Love Language
If you feel happy and loved when your partner appreciates you, your love language may be words of affirmation.
People with the Appreciation love style feel most loved and valued when their partner expresses appreciation and gives them compliments. Words are more important than grand gestures in this case. They crave the feeling that their partner is paying attention to their efforts, accomplishments, and unique qualities.
- When your love style is appreciation, you crave appreciation and thrive on feeling valued, respected, and admired by your partner. In this case, simple sentences like “You make me so proud,” “I love your sense of humor,” “You did an amazing job,” and “You are so sweet” can make you feel happy and loved.
- In this love style, it is so important for your partner to understand the power of their words and appreciation.
- Let your partner know how much their affirming words mean to you and how they can make you feel blessed and loved.
- Remember, in this love style, a little verbal appreciation can go a long way in strengthening your love and connection with each other.
The Emotional Love Style
People with the Emotional love style feel most special and loved when their partner connects with them on an emotional level. A partner who is present during their best and worst moments makes them feel truly valued and loved. While quality time together is important, it’s the emotional connection that truly matters for this style.
- Emotinal love style is specifically focused on emotional connection, as opposed to physical connection.
- This type of love style thrives on receiving care and support during emotionally challenging times.
- Those who speak this love language crave conversations that allow them to share their innermost thoughts, feelings, and experiences with their partner.
- If you have the Emotional love style, when your partner actively listens, asks thoughtful questions, and responds with empathy and insight, it speaks volumes and makes you feel cherished and valued.
The Financial Love Style
People with the Financial love style feel loved and valued when their partner shows them financial generosity. Treats, surprises, and even responsible budgeting for shared goals can all be expressions of love in this style.
- People who speak this love language feel most loved and appreciated when their partner takes the time to choose a meaningful gift, no matter how small or inexpensive.
- In this love style, receiving a well-chosen gift makes them feel truly seen and understood, as it demonstrates that their partner pays attention to their interests, preferences, and what holds sentimental value to them. It’s a tangible reminder that their partner was thinking of them and wanted to make them feel special and emotionally connected.
- Remember, if Receiving Gifts is your love language, don’t be afraid to communicate this to your partner. Explain the meaning it holds for you and how it makes you feel cherished.
- And for partners of those who value this love language, take the time to select thoughtful gifts that hold personal significance, whether it’s for a special occasion or simply as a spontaneous gesture of affection.
The Intellectual Love Language
People whose love style is intellectual like to connect through the mind. They feel loved and valued when their partner values their talents, intelligence, and skills, respects their opinions, and participates in thoughtful discussions of important issues.
- In this love style, you may engage your partner in intense intellectual debates about politics, philosophy, or anything else, but you always respect one another’s opinions.
- If your love language is intellectual, you may also identify as sapiosexual, means you are romantically attracted to people based on their intelligence.
- People who speak this love language find deep satisfaction in sharing their innermost thoughts, ideas, and perspectives with their partner. They don’t just want surface-level chit-chat; they desire discussions that delve into complex topics, challenge their thinking, and allow for the free exchange of insights and opinions.
The Physical Love Style
People who have this love style feel loved when their partner touches them. They really like physical closeness. When they get hugs, kisses, cuddles, hold hands, or snuggle, they feel loved. That doesn’t mean it’s just a code word for sex; it often includes everything from erotic touch to hugs.
- People with love style, they want their partner to show their attraction and love with physical things, like hugs and kisses.
- Physical contact may include sex, but it’s not about only sex, other things also included like holding hands and forehead kisses, foot runs, and quick morning kisses.
- For those with this love language, the physical expression of affection is critical to feeling appreciated, desired, and connected in a relationship.
- Physical touch creates a bond, conveys love, and meets their need for closeness.
- Without adequate physical touch, they may feel unloved or distant from their partner. The actual physical gestures can be small, but the meaning and emotional impact is significant for people with physical love style.
The Practical Love Style
If your love language is practical, you feel most cared for and loved when your partner helps you in practical ways, like doing favors or chores like cooking, cleaning, laundry, yardwork. People with this style feel loved when their partner offers them help.
- For these individuals, actions truly do speak louder than words. They feel most cared for when their loved one takes the time to practically assist them and lighten their workload.
- People with this type of love language are usually down-to-earth and no-nonsense.
- For such people, doing task-oriented things for them makes them feel valued and appreciated in a tangible way.
- People whose primary love language is Acts of Service feel most loved when their partner does concrete actions or tasks to help them or make their life easier. This includes:
- Helping with chores like cooking, cleaning, laundry, yard work
- Running errands or doing favors
- Taking care of repairs or home maintenance tasks
- Making things or doing projects for their partner
- Taking care of scheduled appointments or responsibilities
- Offering help proactively without being asked
- Doing work their partner dislikes or finds inconvenient
How to Use the Love Languages (Love Styles)
When your love language is met in your relationships, you feel loved and valued. On the other hand, if your love language isn’t met, you may feel insecure, taken for granted, and even bitter towards your partner. It’s like speaking two different languages. If neither partner understands the other’s language of love, it can lead to conflicts and other issues.
Your relationship will look much different whether if you both speaking each other’s love language or not. Both partners should understand their love languages as well as their partner’s also.
Here are tips for effectively expressing love using all 7 of the love languages/love styles:
The Activity Love Language
- Plan some activities that you both love and do them together. i.e. Sports, Games, etc
- Go on trips, or vacation together to share some experiences and have a quality time together.
- Go for a walk, hikes, bike riding, or do exercise together as a couple.
- Join a class to to learn something new together like cooking, dance, art, etc.
- Find shows and movies you both love to watch together.
- Play games and solve a puzzle together.
- Put your phones away for a while and make meals, cook, and eat together.
The Appreciation Love Language
- Express appreciation verbally by complimenting and praising.
- Say “Thank you” for things they do for you.
- Write cards or letter to express how much you appreciate them.
- Show pride in their successes, no matter the size. (e.g., “For achieving that promotion, I’m incredibly proud of you!”).
- Highlight specific actions or qualities you admire. (e.g., “I loved how you handled that difficult client today.”).
Emotional Love Language
- Give them your full attention, make eye contact, and avoid interrupting. Validate their feelings with empathy. (e.g., “That sounds really frustrating. Tell me more about it.”)
- Be present for them during both their highs and lows. Let them know you’re there to listen without judgment.
- When they’re struggling, offer emotional support and encouragement. Hold their hand through difficult times.
The Financial Love Language
- Work together to create a budget and plan for your financial future. Discuss shared goals like saving for a down payment on a house or a dream vacation with your partner.
- Be transparent about your income, expenses, and financial goals. Discuss money openly and honestly to avoid misunderstandings.
- Cook a nice meal at home instead of going out, offer to help with chores, or take on a side hustle to contribute financially.
- Show you’re invested in their future by including them in financial planning discussions.
The Intellectual Love Language
- Seek out opportunities for deep conversations about topics that genuinely interest them. Ask open-ended questions that encourage critical thinking and exchange of ideas. (e.g., “I read an article about [topic]. What are your thoughts on it?”)
- Respectfully present opposing viewpoints or ask questions that challenge their assumptions. This shows you value their intellect and enjoy exploring ideas together. (e.g., “That’s an interesting perspective. Have you considered [alternative viewpoint]?” )
- Pay close attention to their ideas and perspectives. Demonstrate authentic curiosity in their thoughts and words.
- Recognize their knowledge and expertise in their areas of passion. Ask for their insights and opinions on relevant topics.
The Physical Love Language
- Take the initiative; don’t wait for them to initiate first. Hugs, kisses, cuddles, holding hands – weave these gestures into your daily routine.
- Go beyond grand gestures. A back rub while they cook, a shoulder squeeze during a movie, a reassuring handhold during errands – these show you’re present and thinking of them.
- Pay attention to verbal and non-verbal cues (body language, facial expressions). If they seem withdrawn, ease back and ask if they’d like a touch.
- When spending time together, silence your phones and focus on being fully present. Make eye contact, smile, and connect – physically and emotionally.
- Holding hands, a quick kiss, or a playful arm around their shoulder can all be ways to express love publicly (if that’s their preference). Always be mindful of their comfort level.
- Bonus Tip: Pay attention to their specific cues. Do they enjoy back rubs or foot massages? Notice what kind of touch they initiate and reciprocate accordingly.
The Practical Love Language
- Pay attention to what tasks they dislike or struggle with. Offer to help with errands, chores, or anything that would lighten their load.
- Don’t wait to be asked. Anticipate their needs and offer to take care of things before they become a burden.
- Not everyone hates taking out the trash. Perhaps your partner enjoys cooking, so you can handle the dishes. Maybe they love yard work, so you can tackle the laundry.
- Sometimes, the most valuable gift is your time. Offer to take on extra errands or childcare duties to give them some free time.
Bonus Tip: Consider their personality. Do they prefer grand gestures or small, consistent acts of service? Once you understand their preferences, you can truly speak their love language.
Conclusion: The Seven Types of Love Languages
The 7 types of love languages offer a unique perspective to understand how we give and receive love, and how we prefer to be cared for and valued. Whether it’s words of affirmation or a physical touch, understanding these love languages can be beneficial in your relationships. It’s like having a secret code to truly connect with your partner and unlock a deeper level of intimacy with them, giving them what they truly want.
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Why Love Languages Are Important In a Relationship?
1. They help you speak your partner’s love language. Just like people have different spoken language, we also have different love languages for feeling loved and valued.
2. Understanding your partner’s love language allows you to effectively communicate your love In a way that your partner can best receive it.
3. If you are expressing love in a way that misses your partner’s primary love language, they may feel emotionally neglected or unloved.
